Dear Playoff Beard,

Happy Birthday my dear playoff beard!  It was just one week ago today, on 4/11/2012 that you came into existence.  You came into this world quiet and shy, hardly wanting to be seen, but you were excited for the playoffs and could hardly wait to grow up and earn some attention for yourself.  But alas, playoff beard, though young as you are, we have experienced some horrible and rough times together.  On the day of your birth, we experienced great joys – a first period of the playoffs that was like no other!  But that very same day brought us great sadness as well, a comeback that could not be foreseen and some early hardships for your life, even a moment of questioning whether your existence was worth it! 

You were young and resilient though and we continued towards Game 2, excited by our first chance to guarantee you a longer life!  We enjoyed great highs again, another great 1^st period, and EVEN PAUL MARTIN SCORED!!!  But yet again, young playoff beard, you and I were disappointed by another comeback and a rather humiliating loss in the end.  At the age of just 3 days old, you were forced to witness 2 hat tricks against the home team, a feat that very few playoff beards in history have ever had to deal with, let alone one at your age. 

Things were looking bad, but you continued to grow and mature as the team hit the road.  You had your first experience of watching the game on tv instead of at the arena.  Had I known what would happen, perhaps you would not have had that experience, for a playoff beard as young as yourself should never have been exposed to such humiliating and embarrassing displays of “hockey.”  That experience changed you.  You grew from scruff into grizzled beard overnight as you were forced to handle the rigors of disappointing, and frankly, disgusting performances.  I could quickly tell that you became tougher and had grown thicker from the experience.

Now, on your one week birthday, we get ready for another game on tv, and perhaps the last chance to extend your life. We must cherish this time together, playoff beard.  Unlike most of your predecessors, who had at least 2 weeks to blossom and grow (and quite often much more time than that), it does not appear that you and I will get the same opportunity to fully bond.  No one knows for sure, and I certainly hope we spend many more weeks together, but I must prepare you just in case.  I want you to know, playoff beard, that this was not your fault.  You have done nothing wrong over the course of this week and I have enjoyed our time together just like I enjoyed my time with all of your predecessors.  In this unfortunate world of unprepared and poorly executing teams, there are often casualties amongst the bystanders and fans.  Sadly, this means you, playoff beard.

It is my greatest hope that we spend this wonderful day together celebrating your first playoff win, and that you can learn to grow through happy experiences after all of the disappointment this series.  So far, you have dealt with higher expectations and less success than any playoff beard I have ever had, and you have done it with more dignity and pride than the sport for which you came into existence.  If things do go awry tonight though, I hope you will go out with that same dignity and pride, and not the lack of such shown by the team in Game 3.  I hope you accept a razor’s fate, and go out proudly.  With any luck, this will not be an issue, and I promise to spill some beer into you to celebrate if we get that magical first win tonight.

So good luck playoff beard, and have a wonderful day, for it is a great day for hockey.  Just remember, if our run together ends tonight, it was not your fault.  It was due to the inability of a team to adjust, prepare, and execute against their fiercest rival.  This is a hard lesson to learn, but sometimes, the team you put your faith in just doesn’t perform.  I hope that you get the chance to see them perform at their best, just once, because they can be pretty amazing when they play up to their talent.  And after all, every playoff beard deserves a chance to see greatness at least once in their lives.